Another Bedtime Funny
M: I need Dad. It’s really important.
Me: What do you need, babe?
M: I need to ask him a question about his childhood. And, I’m going to need you to sing me another bedtime jingle.
Me: Call 877-CASH now
Too Much TV
Me: Is there anything else you want to talk about before I call “lights out”?
M: Well… maybe. Could you sing me a jingle or something?
Me: What, like “Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock… jin…”
M: No, like a jingle. Like State Farm. Or like “Nationwide is on your side.”
Me: “Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!” (waking R)
This Little Voice
Oh, I wove ow’wills. I wove um.
Just Being Plural
Boys playing video game football
Me: “Alright boys, let’s wrap it up – make your plays – you guys have had a long week - let’s go to bed.”
J: “Just a sec.”
Me: “Well, step on it, you don’t get all the time in the world to have more secs.”
… that came out wrong.
Brothers on Seatbelts
J: How does that seatbelt light know if I’m buckled or not?
Me: There must be a sensor that is activated when there is pressure from your weight. The light comes on if there are groceries in the seat too.
J: But how does it know when I’ve buckled up? It turns the light off.
Me: I’ll bet there’s a wire down in the buckle.
J: I bet this thing is just full of wires.
M: Well, what is my buckle full of?
J: Joy.
Tuck Me In
M: “Wait! Don’t go yet – I’m not that tired; and I have something important I want to talk about.”
Me: “Uhgh… What, babe? I’m tired and I want to go wash my face.”
M: “What does it feel like to be an adult?”
Me: “Very much like being a kid with a whole lot of responsibilities.”
M: “But what about being taller? How is that?”
Me: “Very much like being able to reach more things.”
M: “Won’t my heart be bigger when I get older?”
Me: “Sure. As long as you keep it healthy, your heart will usually always be as big as your closed fist… like this.”
M: “That’s cool. So R’s is little bitty and cute.”
Me: “I bet. And yours is smaller than mine. See? But human hearts aren’t as cute as the heart you see on a Valentine. They’re kind of veiny.”
M: “That’s weird.”
Me: “It’s pretty cool, actually. Maybe you’ll be a doctor one day and see all of this for yourself.”
M: “No. I really won’t. Besides, everyone would call me Dr. Love. They really would.”
About Berries
by MBS
A Gentlemen’s Sport
I’m going outside for a good old fashion game o’golf. – J
… we don’t play golf.
Chickenless
“I’m half-vegetarian, half-American.” – M
His Crayon Too
J: “I should dress up like Elmo for R’s birthday party.”
Me: “You are such a sweet brother.”
… leans in close to whisper: “Elmo’s awesome.”
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